In this article, we are going to break the ice about all of what a father of the groom speech is. You people, just like me – we have imagined father of the groom speeches to be in a certain way, to have certain well established rules and then only a couple of minor changes to be allowed, leading us to a limited amount of overall possibilities. As I have analyzed reality, taking many details and aspects into account, making sure I watch and listen to how people will go for a speech in different cases, I have learned that there is much more than we would’ve ever thought. I will now share the best ideas about the father of the groom speech structure! Download 25 Speech Examples for the Groom’s Father
The traditional method is the one in which you try to respect the traditions of our fathers and have your speech that way. I don’t say it’s bad – after all it’s usable and a wedding is still a wedding, be it this year or 50 years from now. Of course, regarding people’s opinions – that aspect will always be different, there will always be people who tell you how amazing your speech was, but at the same time there will be people who will try to convince you about how lame and how inappropriately you have decided to speak. Yes, maybe a part of the pros is true, a part of the cons is also true, but you will never be able to strictly say about someone “ah, this person is so right” or “ah, this person is so wrong”. There are always opinions and you are the one to decide which way you prefer things to go.
The traditional groom’s father wedding speech means it is probably between the first 4 speeches, because traditionally only the newlyweds’ parents speak and the couple, and that’s that. However, this is also discussable, because in some parts of the country people were like this, while in other parts they had other traditions – and of course there was always the family of Mr. Exception, who never respected traditions and rules. Here you can find 25 Father of the Groom Speech Samples
The essence of it is this: you have a short introduction, then you begin talking about the groom, about the bride, you give some advices as a father and you close the speech with the toast proposal. As people had slightly more patience than we have today, they often had 10 minutes of speaking, or let’s say even 15. However, even if you go for the traditional way of speaking and holding your father of the groom speech, you aren’t allowed to exceed 5 minutes – sorry, this is sort of a modern rule, it is like this because of the people, because they were used to this already. Of course, this is not an impediment at all. You can speak just 5 minutes and have an amazing speech, or you could speak 10 minutes and have everyone bored and waiting for you to shut up.
Of course, we should shortly mention how the content of different parts should be. The introduction should introduce you and welcome the guests. Then, the part about the groom should contain the story of your son, short version. The same goes for the bride. If you are uncertain about what you should say about the bride, then you should rather speak about the couple. By speaking about the couple you make sure that you don’t offend the bride and you don’t offend her family members, but you respect the speech structure as well and you don’t get to be embarrassed either.
Then, you are to speak for the advices of the father. This part is a part that could either become amazing, or the worst thing ever. Now, to decide which one applies for you – it is only for you to act that way. It is only for you to want to be amazing with this, or it is only for you to ruin it and prove yourself as the ultimate smart man who knows everything. However, bear with the fact that any attitude you’d take brings certain consequences. If your attitude is to the liking of the guests, the consequences can only be positive. But if the contrary happens – the consequences won’t be too pleasant either.
To give the best advices, you must be able to talk in a friendly manner. This means that you won’t be something like “you are obligated to accept what I say, because I can’t be wrong after 30 years of marriage”. With such an attitude, your words won’t even be considered valid, not even by the guests who are barely listeners.
However, if you can say things in a friendly way without trying to prove yourself and trying to tell everyone how right you are, then there are real chances to make yourself heard, to allow people to receive what you have to say into their hearts. To touch hearts and emotions, you must be expressive and simple in expressions, but gentle at the same time.
Obviously, it isn’t for everyone to use his own words. Some people will rather go for quotes from movies, books or from the internet. While all of these sources are accessible, you need to make sure you make your choice in the right way. You must make sure about the fact that your quote is not only suitable for a father of the groom speech, but it is not offensive for the occasion of your son’s wedding.
Movie quotes are of many types and some of them, while they were presented by actors in a serious way in certain movies, were meant to make fun of some realities which aren’t good. If you choose one of these quotes, I can’t say it’s good enough. In the case of other movies, people will make movies to represent sad stories to become lessons for other people who don’t want to suffer in the same way. Some of these harsh reality based movies are romantic movies, in which romance stories ended up in tragedies. Beware of these movies – they are definitely not the right sources of inspiration for your father of the groom speech quotes.
There are also many romantic movies, which contain comedy parts and parts of reality in which people from seemingly hopeless situations got to reach statuses and situations in life that can truly be called happy endings. Now, in the case of those movies, you can easily choose some smart quotes, because those movies contain realities that can be used in real life. Of course, you need to think twice, because again some of the stories also make fun of some habits people have (wrong habits, things that rather destroy romance).
Then, in a limited number of comedy movies, there are also quotes that are shockingly true and valid for everyone. If you find such sentences, such parts in these comedy movies – feel free and happy to use those!
When it comes to book, unless you are a true amateur of reading dozens of books per month, you should rather talk with your wife or with other women who you trust, because women have a better sense of books and they sometimes understand deeper parts of these messages from books. So, in order for you to have the same level of understanding, it is not a shame to ask women. The worst thing that could happen if you ask for advices is that you could have asked someone else who would’ve given a slightly better one – just kidding, there is nothing bad to happen!
Then, there comes the unavoidable part including the toast proposal within your father of the groom speech. If you want a high quality toast proposal, you should read at least 50 toast proposals for different weddings and then write up your own one. While some people don’t risk themselves to write their own toast proposals, it’s not a bad thing to do and it is not impossible either. You can do it, if you truly want to, you can handle it if you have decided to act according to this. If you are creative, your text will be like 100 times better than any other text that appears on the internet.
Now, beware that this part is a bit more risky and is meant only for people who are absolutely certain about the fact that they are amazing speakers! While it is very easy to improvise the introduction and the toast proposal (as you can do it after listening to movies, after watching a couple of wedding speech YouTube videos), it is way harder to do the same in case of the middle parts of your father of the groom speech, which is the essence of it.
Truth being said, people will generally not advices you to improvise. I don’t encourage it either, but as a chance of possibility I prefer to mention it as I can never know if someone was looking exactly for this! The primary rule of improvising is to listen, to be empathetic first. In order to become a great improviser of a wedding speech, you need to understand things such as:
- How people generally say father of the groom speeches? You need to have at least the slightest idea about this. By knowing, your part becomes easier and more valid.
- How long are father of the groom speeches? Generally, father of the groom speeches are either 4 or 5 minutes long. If you go for a shorter one it is never an issue, but if you go for more than that then beware that boredom and people assuming you are a lame speaker – might happen.
- Are you the type of person to have emotions frequently? If the answer for this is yes, then you should probably consider some other way to go about your father of the groom speech. If your answer is no – you have chances to handle this accordingly.
- Are there other rules? Some short ones: don’t joke too much, gesticulate accordingly, don’t fix your eyes on one spot or on one person, beware of wrong hand gestures and don’t be too filled with emotions.
Other than these, to improvise, you need to know that the essence of the speech is the groom first and then the bride. Now, regarding the actual content, knowing how to talk about them or what to say and what not to say – it is nearly impossible to get them all right during an improvised father of the groom speech. Still, if you want to know, the best way to hide that you were wrong and mistaken, you shouldn’t stop speaking suddenly as soon as you realize you have said something stupid. The best thing to do if you notice is to continue speaking and change the subject, making sure you captivate people’s attention by something great you are about to say.
As an improviser, it is also not a problem if you add a couple of short speech parts about things that are generally not part of the father of the groom speech, but might fit in just well. What are such things? I can’t say there is a general rule for that, but you definitely are a creative person if you had chosen to speak this way and given that you are creative, you will figure it out!
The creativity master
This part is one of my favorites, because while it has a few rules it is very efficient and unique. Being unique with your father of the groom speech is not the easiest thing to do, because there are so many people who have already told their speeches and there are so many ideas covered already on blogs, on articles, in video presentations – there are way too many ideas, which wouldn’t be new if you used them.
However, one of the good things about this is that people didn’t have the time to read those many ideas, because they are currently only aware about a couple of the ideas and definitely not even half of them. By reading different sources of inspiration and different existing ideas for the father of the groom speech structure and content, you will soon figure which are things you would’ve thought of yourself as well and then which are the things that leave you surprised and/or shocked.
A creativity master will also use things and possibilities in his own father of the groom speech that people would’ve never thought of. One of these things is showing a video clip which was prepared in advance or displaying a funny PowerPoint presentation while you are speaking, just like it was a presentation or a conference. Of course, these also means that your presentation is so good that the people watching and listening will laugh, cry and be amazed and not bored. If your presentation is very creative, it’s not a problem to exceed 5 minutes – however, make sure to think 10 times before you decide to go for a longer one, as an example.
Then, you can change the way you are going to say the speech. For example, let’s assume you are towards the end, and you are just talking about the couple and about interesting things such as: how it was when they met, how long they dated before your son proposed, how was the period of time between the proposal and the actual wedding and so forth. During this story, while you are saying these things, maybe you have hired some amateur actors or asked a couple to act on your behalf – as you say “they have met in high school” you could have them dress like teenagers and bump into each other, and then look into each other’s eyes like they instantly fell in love. With such scenes and role playing variants and possibilities are endless. You will never have an upper limit of things you couldn’t do on these plays. Of course, you need to make sure that the people playing these roles are funny and creative enough.
You can also have something like a slideshow of pictures while you are saying the story. This is not like a PowerPoint presentation and not like a traditional speech, it is rather something which is between them. Of course, if you do it the right way, people will appreciate it for sure!